In just two years at MIT, you’ve already mastered a new language – that of Frat Boy Code (occasionally written in binary). “Studying for finals” translates to “binge drinking until the BPD has to fish you out of the Charles” and offering to “take a girl up to the roof and show her the CITGO sign” is code for rape her. Then, again, if a girl somehow does wander into the frat house that’s home to the wild men of Gamma Gamma Graphing Calculator, she probably goes to Wellesley, where any kind of sex that does not involve strap-ons or Belle & Sebastian is almost always considered rape, or at least rape-y.

