What your private tutor at Kaplan didn’t teach you: That’s not envy on the passersby’s faces when they look at your crimson sweatshirt. It’s the look of deep, disgusted judgment as they decode you as:
A) Socially inept trust-fund nerd
B) Undeserving minority
C) Complete fucking douchebag
D) All of the above
Remember, the 26 billion dollar endowment is an indication of ego size, not penis size.
HOW TO IDENTIFY: In a remote village in Botswana, spending more time regretting the decision and calling National Geographic to get more publicity (for better chances at grad school) than working to better the non-profit AIDS clinic he started in a futile effort to win the Rhodes Scholarship.
