Are you a minority engineer? Or a FOB Korean whose NJ-based parents were upset you couldn’t get into a better Ivy school and so they saved their nail salon money to lease you a new BMW so you could flaunt some second-generation wealth around Hanover? Is college your first time drinking considering you spent your highschool years practicing the violin and math algorithms to get into the best school possible? Did you not get a bid from the Delt house – even though your father is a prominent New England attorney? Have you gotten carried away with your newly-discovered fraternity gene during your “Sophomore Summer” and enjoy games of Public vs. Prep School flipcup between ultimate frisbee sessions? When it’s too cold to go out and night, do you stay in and jerk off to Dr. Seuss books? Do you get sick and tired of hearing your professors talk about how they regularly commute to New York City to gain urban perspective while consulting for some bullshit company?
