You go to Duke?! Damn, where to even begin with you? Umm okay, let’s just ignore the education derived entirely from textbooks written by those who, most assuredly, do not have anything to do with the state of North Carolina, the lack of any real alumni network, and the supporting of a basketball program whose success is less appealing to the general public than unprotected sex with Magic Johnson. Now that we have those thoughts blocked, let’s focus on how appealing it is to be female at Duke. You can either be “allegedly” assaulted by the lacrosse team – or fuck them consensually and then publish a book about it. Oh, not into athletes? Though Karen Owen would not approve, I’m sure the East Asia club would love to run train on you.
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