It’s actually inspiring to watch a student graduate from Chicago. The commitment to overcome severe social awkwardness by spending four years in the library, studying for combinatorics exams is mindblowing. But seriously, you did well for yourself. Sadly, you weren’t Indian (or nerdy enough) so you couldn’t get a bid from Alpha Delt and Jimmy’s didn’t want you back since you didn’t have the intellectual dexterity to go mano-a-mano with one of your Nobel-prize winning professors and rightfully lost the right to hit on the only mildly attractive girl there. So, you ended up being one of those quirky stilt-walking people who puts heroin in his shoes and gives all the squirrels nicknames like “Derrida Scrotum.” You’re good at quantitative analysis and giving those around you a sense of unease. Ahh Chicago, where fun comes to die.
